by Lovely Laban
2019 is here and I have decided to leave one thing behind.
If you’re anything like me, you’ve felt some version of self-doubt.
And self-doubt, lovelies, it’s tricky. It shapeshifts to fit each individual where they’ll feel it the most.
For some it grabs hold in the form of body insecurity, for others it whispers lies about their parenting skills, but one thing remains constant- not being enough.
That’s why self doubt is the one thing I am leaving behind in 2019, and I think you should too.
I know this is a lofty goal, and one that will take constant effort, these are the steps I’m going to take in the new year to make it my most confident year yet.
1. Get outside more
Nature grounds us. It brings us back to ourselves, to beauty, peace, and harmony in a way that nothing else can compare. Research also shows that spending time outdoors is good for our mental health.
Our culture is very inward-focused, there’s a reason this is my first step for 2019. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the hustle and bustle and forget what actually matters.
So if you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or like you can’t think straight- head outside.
Breathe in some fresh air, get some steps in, and center yourself.
2. Less screen time
Getting outside more will inherently lead to less screen time, but there are so many more things to be done when we step away from our screens!
As we head into a new year, we are about to be bombarded with messages about how we need to ‘fix’ this or ‘change’ that, and the majority of these messages come from our devices. I am here to tell you- you do not need fixing!
If you’re on social media and the messaging you’re exposed to makes you doubt yourself and is meant to tear you down- close the app and walk away.
Less screen time means more time with the people who lift us up and make us feel good. It means more time with our kids, pets, and loved ones forming real, genuine connections. These connections are vital to our happiness and confidence.
3. Practice kindness
To yourself and others.
For most of you, being kind to others comes very naturally. It’s the being kind to ourselves that we get a little stuck on.
Somewhere along the way, we lost the effortless ability to love on our bodies, brains, and hearts the way they deserve to be.
If we’re never kind to ourselves, of course we’re going to be full of self-doubt. We must appreciate our gifts, talents, and what we have to offer.
We have to remember that we must advocate for ourselves, even when it feels impossible.
One way I’m going to practice this is every night before bed, I’m going to reflect on the day and determine one thing I’m proud of myself for and one thing that made me genuinely happy (even if it was just my hot cup of coffee 12 hours earlier).
My goal in practicing this is that acts of self-kindness become fundamental to my day and feel second nature- not forced.
4. Make a list
Such as this blog!
While I 100% stand behind the idea that we don’t need fixing- it doesn’t mean that we can’t set goals for ourselves. Human beings are capable of constant change and growth, and I personally believe in flexing this muscle as much as possible.
There are few things in life that give you confidence in a way that crushing a goal does.
And if big lists aren’t your thing, start small!
Your list of goals can include anything from learning a new language, to getting your dream job, to simply cleaning the house once a week. Tailor this list to you, not what others want for you.
You also may need to reshape your view of lists. If lists are intrinsically stressful for you, release the idea of a time limit and only include things that are truly motivating to you.
Basically- if you have no real desire learn to sew/cook/ice skate, don’t include it. Only include things that will add to your life, throughout the process and after.
There is power in accomplishment, however big or small. You are capable of amazing things, lovely. Remember this.
5. Invest in yourself
Let’s get one thing straight- you deserve to feel confident. You also deserve to invest in yourself to help you feel confident.
This will mean different things for each of you, myself included.
For me, this type of investment means setting time aside for myself in the mornings before my day starts and the kids get moving. It also means prioritizing time for fitness as well as beauty-based appointments. Hair, Botox and dermal filler, and massage appointments make me feel good and insanely confident. So I prioritize them in my schedule.
For someone who works from home- it may be scheduling in a 90 minute walk or trip to the gym to get out of the house.
Investing in yourself doesn’t have to cost a dime either. Simply giving yourself time is the best gift. You get to decide what to do with it.
2019: Your Most Confident Year Yet
I hope you’ll join me in making 2019 your most confident year yet. Leave self-doubt in your rearview and don’t look back!
Let’s make this new year one full of positivity, growth, and gratefulness for the things we already have as well as for the things 2019 will bring.
Happy New Year, lovelies!
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